I don’t spend much time in the shared kitchen. At some point a pencil sketch of a carrot appears on the door of my room with ‘Bugs Veggie’s rabbit warren’ written above it. I ignore it, but one of my new friends sees it when she comes to visit. I’m out, but she tells me later that she burst into the kitchen, and ‘told them what a bunch of pathetic wankers they were. You should have seen their faces!’ In this room she tells me a great secret and I keep it. Then I move rooms, to a friendlier floor.

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