I have read in NME that people who are social secretaries at uni go on to manage bands or record labels. I ingratiate myself, fantasising out loud about my rockist career to come, with the bloke who organises the bands at our halls: but after shifting a lot of heavy furniture from the dining hall so that The Vibrators, a minor first wave punk band, can play, I evaporate. A little later I walk past him and some of his cronies, and I hear someone say ‘Oh look, there goes the new social secretary’. I walk on, shoulder blades touching.

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