Do I look like I’m worth talking to? I have a great mass of hair, which is either cavalier ringlets around my shoulders, ironically, given my levelling leanings, or an airborne Zappa frizz, depending on how recently it has been washed: so it’s usually ringlets. A lazy beard, rings, black nail varnish, an embroidered black velvet waistcoat, a t-shirt with medieval sleeves, covered in golden heraldic hippy lions. A gold and rose tasselled scarf swishing from a belt loop. Blue desert boots. Hanging around my neck, on a small varnished piece of wood, Arthur Rackham’s Alice is discomfited by the caterpillar.

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